


Internal

by pari_gin



Category: Watchmen (Comic), Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Porn With Plot, but there's gotta be a relationship build first, rorschach's a dick but we all knew this, there's gonna be some porn at the end promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-01 08:40:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10918281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pari_gin/pseuds/pari_gin
Summary: Rorschach has started acting weird after Dan tries one night to get to know him better. Now Dan fears their partnership might be failing, not knowing Rorschach's going through his own internal battle with how he feels for Dan.





	1. "You Can Talk to Me."

The moon resided in the night sky just as it always did. Though, still odd it watched in the day from time to time. Spectating on the world unshrouded by the blackness of night. Was it watching over the world? Was it curious? Perhaps jealousy fumed within it’s alabaster core as it saw the daily activity that went on in the sunlight, yearning for the smiles that the sun brought upon the world. At night, the only smiles there was were of young people sneaking off, the tender noises of lovers in the night, the screams of whores and laughing of muggers and rapist. The night is where evil came out to join the world of the living, and where men’s real faces showed.

But not…completely, as two figures sat on the rooftop, overlooking the city below as one resided in a bulky round machine and the other stood upon it. Rorschach watched the alleyways as everything seemed to be quiet, though he knew that wasn’t true. Working with Dan was a good idea on his part, after that seeking justice became a lot easier. Both searching for information and getting a better amount splitting up, as well as getting beaten the shit out of didn’t happen as often when you had someone watching your back. 

A hatch opened up on the roof as the second figure made his way up next to his partner, Dan standing up next to Rorschach as he left Archie on autopilot. His cape rippled in a duet by Rorschach’s trench coat.

“Any news?” Dan asked him as he glanced down into the gritty city below.

“Not here,” Rorschach answered abruptly.

Dan sighed as he glanced at the night sky, his night vision goggles giving everything a purple hue as the glow of the envying moon eyed them. They’d been waiting here for hours after they got a tip that a drug dealer (that works for a big name with a body count) would be meeting up at this exact spot. They’d been on this job for a while, and this was their first serious shot at actually getting somewhere. So far, their little tip had been dry.

“Maybe the tip was false,” added Nite Owl.

“Hurmph.”

“Listen you know I don’t like it when you just respond with noises.”

Rorschach did, but he didn’t stop. Why did he need to respond with words if none were needed? Guess that was the downside to having a partner; socializing was a necessary thing when he primarily kept silent.

“I’m just saying, Rorschach, maybe we should call it quits for tonight.”

Rorschach looked over at Dan, the man removing his goggles to get a better look at him. Rorschach felt himself freeze up as his eyes looked away, though obviously Dan wouldn’t be able to tell. 

“Got nothing better to do,” commented Rorschach as he squatted down, shrinking to the point so that he was no longer face to face with his partner.

Dan sighed. Sometimes he worried about Rorschach. He was just as mysterious as some of the crooks they were after. Rorschach knew his identity, he knew his name, he knew so much about him, yet Dan knew nothing of Rorschach. Sometimes he wondered if Rorschach didn’t trust him. He used to wonder if he could even trust him. But after the countless amount of times that Rorschach had saved him, you kind of have to trust him at that point. But with only an alias to call him and a moving inkblot mask to recall as a face, sometimes Rorschach almost seemed inhuman. What did he even do after they both went home?

“Rorschach…I worry about you buddy. Sometimes I wonder if all you ever do is fight crime and after that you disappear like a ghost ‘til night comes back around. Then you reappear just as you suddenly disappeared.”

“Seems unlikely.”

“Rorschach you’re not getting my point,” Dan said, grabbing the bridge of his nose.

What was there to get? Why was he so interested in his personal life now? _Feel violated. Other intentions perhaps? No… Shouldn’t involve own thoughts in profiling._

Rorschach gritted his teeth as he shoved those thoughts aside. Though that slight flicker of anger was only fed to become a greater flame with Dan’s next comment.

“Maybe you should get a girlfriend, Rorschach. Settle down a bit and bask in life. It’s not all about locking up the criminals y’know—“

It felt like a bubble of anger popped inside of him and filled every vein in his body with molten lava. “Like Twilight Lady?” Rorschach sharply replied, his tongue feeling as sharp as a needle.

Dan looked over at Rorschach with furrowed eyebrows. Had he offended him? If he did, Rorschach was obviously trying to get him back.

“You know that’s not what I meant—“

“All women are the same,” the dwindling image of his mother went through his mind. “Care about nothing but themselves.”

“Rorschach you know that isn’t true. So do men—“

“Exactly.” _Except one,_ he thought. “Shut up,” he said outloud, looking at Dan and apologizing, telling him it wasn’t towards him. “Humanity is…selfish.”

Dan pondered the thought for a moment. “You know, Rorschach…if women just aren’t your thing, you know you can tell me. There’s no need for secrets in between us.”

Now that was a question Rorschach was definitely not expecting as he turned to look at Dan, beyond bewildered as the inkblots showed it. He got up quick, still standing a few inches shorter than Dan as he aggressively took an advancement towards him, as Dan immediately knew he made a mistake.

 _“Not_ a fag, Dan. Pissed you’d even think it.” _Liar._

Okay, maybe he had crossed the line with that one. “I’m sorry, Rorschach…I just…I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to hide anything from me. We’re partners, there’s no need to be secrets. You can trust me—“

“Dealer.”

Without even a warning, Rorschach stepped off Archie and fell into the alleyway below, just in front of the curious dealer wondering where the person he was told he would be meeting was. Dan grabbed his forehead. Shit, he messed up. There was no way in hell Rorschach would be closer to trusting him than he was five seconds ago. Pulling down his goggles, he jumped down to begin the interrogation. 

*

Ever since their little chat that night, every time he’d met back up with Rorschach, his partner had always given him the cold shoulder. Dan’s nights had never felt lonelier. Small talk never happened, he hardly would even look at him. The jobs became more aggressive, even Dan couldn’t stop him from shoving someone’s face hard into a concrete wall even after they’d gotten their information. For the first time in a long while, Dan was scared. Not for his safety, but for Rorschach’s. What was going on with him? Why was he acting this way? But there didn’t seem like there was any chance in hell that Rorschach would open up to him.

Still on the job of the dealer case, they had learned from their little interrogation that there was another man that might know where the big guy might be headed to collect his sum of cash. They walked together down the streets of the slums, getting occational glances from one person to the next as they passed different clubs and bars. The acrid scent of smoke filled the atmosphere as well as the toxic smell of alcohol. The silence between them was almost unbearable for Dan as finally he had to start up a topic.

“It’s a pretty nice night out,” Daniel said, looking up at the polluted sky. _God just say ‘how’s the weather’ why don’t you?_

As expected, Dan didn’t even get an official response from his partner; not ever a grunt. Dan thought for a moment as he tried to continue on in small talk.

“Maybe after all this we can go to a bar, go have a drink, chat a bit.”

“Don’t drink.”

“Ah.”

Well at least he got something out of him, though it wasn’t much. Why did he feel such a yearning for Rorschach’s attention? That was obvious—because he was his friend! He had to have done something wrong. It couldn’t have been his comment had it? He had already apologized for that… 

But honestly, Rorschach was more upset with himself more than anything. What had been locked down in his stomach had suddenly risen up with that question as he wondered it himself. _No, no, not that. Only Dan only—_

He shook his head as even that wanted to make him vomit. Not even that… Not even him. Dan’s pitiful gaze as he looked at him sickened him to his very core as he gave off a snarl from under his mask as he tore away his own eyes and forced them to look at the ground. What he was feeling, whenever he looked at Dan, brushed by him, standing close, it was _wrong._ It made his insides boil, and he couldn’t allow himself to bring it to light. It was like he was battling his own criminal, right underneath his skin, wanting to drag him away into sin and lust, but he wouldn’t allow that. He just had to keep himself distracted, that’s all.

There was muttering in the alleyway as Rorschach turned his head, his heart stopping as he recognized the face of a man, leaning over a young woman. That was the face of the man they were looking for.

“Come on, head over with me! Drinks on me, swear to God above,” he muttered, obviously messed up by either drugs or alcohol, Rorschach couldn’t tell.

The woman, uncomfortable by his advancements, shrunk away from him, trying to pass him by but the man didn’t allow it. “Please, no thank you, I have to get home.”

“Then let me walk with you! A beauty such as yourself shouldn’t be walking alone at this time of night.”

Rorschach’s fists clenched as he watched the man as he seemed to strip the girl with his eyes, his lustful stare baring down her her as he seemed to drool and pant like a bitch in heat. Anger grew from inside Rorschach as Daniel walked up along side him, not taking his eyes off the man.

“That’s him, isn’t it?” 

Rorschach didn’t even wait to answer that as he started stomping towards them, the lady giving him a frightful look just before the man turned around, seeing the lady be frightened by something. But before he could say a word, Rorschach had him by the collar of his shirt—thrusting him against the brick wall of the alleyway as the thud literally knocked the wind out of him.

“What’s your _problem?!”_

Rorschach looked at him with eyes of fury, though the only thing that showed it were his inkblots. 

“MAN WHORE!” he shouted into his face, his rough and deep voice tainted by wrath as the man gave a confused yet frightened look. 

Rorschach pulled him back and shoved him against the wall once more. “Where’s Richardson? Where are you meeting him?”

The name rung in the man’s head as suddenly, his lips were shut realizing who they were after. “R-Richardson? I have no idea who you’re talking about!”

Rorschach knew he wouldn’t give his boss away that easily, so he needed a bit of persuasion. As soon as he dropped the man, Rorschach kneed him in the balls, the man bending over in utter pain as the masked man grabbed his hand, breaking it in one hard grasp as he let out a sickening scream.

“Next is arm. Where. Is. _He?”_

The man sobbed as spit and snot ran out from his face, obviously not replying. Dan ran up to the scuffle, worried that Rorschach was becoming too aggressive again. “Rorschach calm down—“

“I can’t! I can’t! They’ll kill me!” the man sobbed.

“I’ll do worse than kill you,” Rorschach growled as he grabbed his arm and twisted it back, breaking it with a snap as the man went to yell, but Rorschach grabbed his mouth with his gloved hands as it was muffled. His tears stained the leather.

“P-Please, _please…”_ the man babbled. “We’re supposed to meet him Thursday…1am…on the bridge by the docks…” Rorschach twisted his arm more and he cried out. “Please I swear! That’s the truth! I promise I _promise…”_

Rorschach grumbled, that was far too easy, and his anger was still radiating off his body. He turned the man around and slammed his fist into the guy’s face, again, again, and again.

Dan was shocked by the over aggression Rorschach was giving off as he had to grab his coat, dragging him off the now unconscious and bloody man. Rorschach was surprisingly lightweight—half expecting it since he was incredibly short. 

“Rorschach what the _hell_ is your problem?!”

Walter, obviously shocked to of been yanked off from the criminal, was just bubbling with anger waiting to burst. His teeth grit as he stepped towards Dan and pointed at him accusingly. _“Problem?_ The problem is he’s hiding a man who has a body count. Even kids, Nite Owl!”

“That doesn’t give you the right to break each of his limbs until he’s a damned prezel!” Dan shouted back, fists clenched. All his anger just began to pour out of him. “What the hell has been going on with you lately?!”

Rorschach was silent for a moment as he was trying to keep his calm. “Nothing has been ‘going on’.”

“Oh _hell_ Rorschach that’s a straight lie! You’ve not been talking with me, every recent bust we’ve done lately I’ve had to stop you from kicking their heads into the pavement; you won’t even _look_ at me! Did I do something?! Please just _tell_ me! You’re my friend, you can tell me these things!”

Dan increased his walking speed as Rorschach tried to turn and walk away from him as he grabbed his partner’s shoulder as suddenly, Daniel found his wrist being held by an incredible force as he almost fell to his knees as the pain that went through him as Rorschach had Dan in his grasp. Realizing how tight he was holding, Rorschach loosened it a bit, not by much though. Their faces were so close, close enough for Dan to feel Rorschach’s breath even behind the mask as body heat mingled and merged as one. At one point, he wondered if he could map out Rorschach’s face by how easily he could see indents on his face, from sharp cheekbones to a slim jawline, though he had already seen his mouth and nose for when he snacked on some food.

“You’re what’s wrong. A distraction, a way of keeping my mind wondering off and away from the subject of justice. You’re obstructing my vision Daniel, my thoughts. I can’t look at you without—“

He had to stop himself as he almost let certain words slip from his mouth. After so many years of keeping it in, how could he of possibly almost let it slip out in this little amount of time. Daniel looked at him, surprised, unable to react or understand what his words mean.

“Rorschach…I don’t know what you mean… Please let’s just talk about this—“

But Rorschach obviously had nothing else to say as he shoved Dan away, walking towards the end of the alleyway as he went to turn down the street. Dan felt a great yearning in his chest to go after him and drag him back and hug him—hug him? Where did that come from? Was it the lingering warmth he felt from Rorschach being so close? He almost…missed it.

“I’ll…see you tomorrow night then?” Daniel asked.

Rorschach hesitated before disappearing behind the corner as he went to go turn to look at Dan, before he continued walking, disappearing from sight.


	2. "Waiting for someone?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rorschach doesn't show up for 'work', Dan gets a bit worried. So, he invites him to a party, hoping he'll show up.

“I don’t know, Elizabeth, I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“I mean, what do you think he meant by distraction?”

Dan had the bridge of his nose pinched as the stress nagged at his brain. When going out last night to meet Rorschach, he wasn’t there at their regular meet up place. He didn’t even show up when he busted some criminals that night. It was the first time in a long time that Daniel had worked alone. He felt almost empty without having Rorschach’s presence. He was half expecting him to be at his home when he arrived later on, but he wasn’t there either. He wondered if it was the end of their partnership.

“I don’t know! I haven’t got a clue! Maybe it’s because I talk too much, ask too many questions, but I can’t help it that I want to know more about the man I work with! He knows everything about me; where I live, what I look like, my real name, but he can’t even tell me his _first name!”_ Daniel ranted as he pressed his forehead against the wall. 

Maybe phoning up ‘Twilight Lady’ the ‘dominatrix vigilante’ for advice wasn’t exactly a good idea.

“Hm, I don’t know Daniel…maybe he has a crush on you?”

Point proven.

“A crush? Elizabeth, you are speaking about one of the most homophobic men I know. I can’t really say anything, the church has gotten into the lives of many, though it’s surprising it has even influenced Rorschach.”

When he first found out Rorschach had a religious background it was a very odd experience. He half expected him to be an atheist by his attitude and outlook on life. Maybe he was, but still followed the guidelines of the Bible for moral standards. It was hard to tell really, but it was one of the few facts Dan knew about his partner.

“Exactly! His homophobia is what’s messing him up! He sees you, feels those ‘sinful’ feelings inside of him, gets angry, and…yeah! Makes sense right?” He could hear her laughing on the other side of the phone.

“I think that’s a pretty far leap, this is serious, he’s never not shown up for work before.”

“And I’m _being_ serious! Look Dan, I gotta go, but I hope you find out your answer. I’ll see you later.”

Once Daniel hung up the phone, he let out a long and carried out sigh. He didn’t know what to do about all this. Rorschach was a very complicated man. Who knew what was even going on in that little head of his? It wasn’t like he could head to his place, have a cup of coffee, and chat it out. He didn’t even have a phone number to—

Wait.

Dan rushed up to his kitchen as he pulled open the drawers, rummaging through all the junk as he searched. _Come on, come on, you gotta be here…_ And there it was, a thin strip of paper. He snatched it up, unfolding it in between his hands as he looked at the numbers clearly written out. A phone number given to him by Rorschach, being told this was only to be used for emergencies. He hadn’t needed to use it until now… 

It was his first sign of trust from Rorschach. He remembered the night he had gotten it was when he first took Rorschach to his home. His partner had gotten stabbed in a skirmish, and Dan didn’t have time to hesitate as he brought Rorschach back in the Owlship. The thought that he was revealing where he lived didn’t even cross his mind as he rushed him into his garage and began the process of healing him up. Rorschach had been incredibly against taking off his coat and shirt to Dan, but he had been in too much pain to argue.

It was also the first time Dan had seen Rorschach’s skin. He had yet to even pull up his mask in front of him. His skin was pale, almost sickly as he saw that the man was incredibly skinny and fit. Freckles dappled his pale skin as hair across his belly was very pale. From this he guessed Rorschach was perhaps a blond, but he could be wrong. It had been a long night with a lot of pain killers, but Dan had stayed up the entire time to make sure he was okay. After that, Rorschach had handed him the number.

The memory, though not exactly positive, was a nice one to remember. Mainly because it was nice comparing to how close they were now to how close they were when they first became partners. They’d always stuck by one another through thick and thin. Even Dan couldn’t imagine himself without him as his partner. Nite Owl just wouldn’t be the same without Rorschach fighting along side him.

Grabbing the phone from the wall, he punched in the numbers, his heart racing as he lifted it up to his ear. Why so nervous? He never usually got this anxious from phoning someone. It rang. Once. Twice. Three times. Four… Dan stopped counting and soon, his heart dropped when it went to an automatic voicemail. Of course he wouldn’t answer, but he didn’t give up there. Once the voice told him to leave a message, he began to talk.

“Hey…I hope this number was correct—“ Dan was a bit hesitant in using obvious cues that he was talking to Rorschach. If he punched the wrong number and someone found this on their voicemail box, then he could be in big trouble. “But…I was a bit worried when you didn’t show up for work last night… I was afraid maybe you got hurt or…” _Didn’t want to work with me anymore…_ There was a long hesitation from Daniel. He hadn’t thought his entire conversation out.

“But hey listen, there’s a party going on tomorrow night. I gave you the address a few weeks back if you remember… Uh they said…u-uh the person throwing it that is, that you can wear whatever makes you the most comfortable—“ It wasn’t like he could say ‘you can wear your mask’ outright. “—But I hope you come...it’s important to me, y’know,” Dan scratched the back of his head nervously. “I mean, it’d be important to me if you go... I’m not going to be wearing… uh… a costume, just cause…y’know…but feel free to if you wanna. Anyways, I’ll see you later…hopefully. Bye.”

After hanging up the phone, Dan let out a loud exhale as if he’d been holding his breath that entire time. He hoped, for one, that had been the right number. He looked at the slip of paper, read it once, twice, even three times, but he still had his doubts. Hopefully it got to Rorschach one way or another.

But who knows, he may be blowing all this out of proportion. Evening was coming up, and soon he’d head out to their meeting place. He’ll see Rorschach, and they’ll chat like nothing ever happened. He didn’t know why he was worrying so much. 

Later that night, Rorschach didn’t show up for work again.

*

Dan arrived at the party that afternoon wearing a dress shirt and pants. It was nothing too casual but nothing too formal either. His anxious thoughts never left Rorschach the entire day after he didn’t show up for the second time. What if he was actually hurt? Or dead? He felt useless not being able to do anything about it if that was the case. He’d been at this party for 20 minutes, and he had yet to see the strange symmetrical face of his partner in the crowds.

It was a bit foolish to think Rorschach would show up. He’d come up with a theory that the party was ‘a trap’ or something along those lines, or that it was too risky. Dan probably would have to agree, showing up in his mask without Dan being in Nite Owl would be a bit strange, but he just wanted to be kind and invite him along. The party was for him and Rorschach specifically, he wasn’t too sure if all the guests knew that one of them was Nite Owl and Rorschach or if it was just the host. He was guessing only the host since making it public may attract some villains, but it was a nice way to get recognized nonetheless.

Dan sat down at a table with his small plate of food, sipping his champagne as he casted his gaze over the crowd. A small figure came up next to him and pulled out a chair, sitting down as Dan gave a half nod in greeting. He listened to the music as it flowed past his ears. It was a lovely and lively atmosphere, and it was nice don’t get him wrong, but it would be better with someone to talk to.

“Catchy song?”

The voice came from the character that had sat next to him. Turning his attention towards the man, he actually studied his appearance more. The man had a small frame, his hair a fiery ginger as small freckles dappled along his face. He wore a dress shirt that looked like he hadn’t worn since high school prom as his hair was disheveled. Facial structure wise, all Dan could say was…it was…incredibly unique. Ugly without a doubt but having a look you couldn’t exactly pull your gaze away from.

“You were tapping your foot,” the man continued after Dan didn’t answer. His voice was raspy.

“Oh, well yeah, I guess. I didn’t really notice,” he answered, looking down at his foot.

“Huh, I see. Waiting for someone?” said the man.

“Yeah actually, I invited them here, not too sure if they’re coming.”

Daniel looked back at the strange man who was now eating food off his plate with his fingers. The man looked up, his heart thumping in his chest to see Dan staring at him. Walter’s eyes flickered back to his plate. This was a bad idea, very, very bad idea. He was going to recognize him. He didn’t know how, but Dan was a smart guy. Whether it’s from his body movement to recognizing his chin from when he lifts up his mask, Dan was going to find out. And he was about to get up and leave, until Dan spoke.

“Name’s Daniel Dreiberg, nice to meet you,” Dan said, holding out his hand.

Walter hesitated, looking at Dan’s awaiting hand, before placing his own in his. It was the first time he’d touched Dan without his gloves. “Walter Kovacs, same to you.”

After the greeting was over, Dan moved back with a smile on his face, adjusting his glasses. “So Walter, what brings you to the party?”

What did bring him to the party? Walter didn’t know what to say, and for the first time in a while he felt tongue tied as he tried to bring up an excuse. “Food primarily.” Not wrong but…

He was startled when Dan let out a laugh, eyes widening a bit as he looked over at him. “Can’t argue with you there! Free food is always good food if you ask me,” said Dan.

Daniel looked back out to the crowd again. What if Rorschach was here, but without his mask? No way, he had to brush it off. Rorschach would never do such a thing to compromise his identity. “You waiting on anyone?”

“No,” replied Walter. 

“Well then you wanna join me to go listen to the band?”

“Sure.”

Getting up from his seat, Walter followed Dan through the crowd of people, just a little bit too close for Dan’s comfort but he didn’t say anything. A million thoughts raced through his mind. That he should go before he says the wrong thing. Before something slips out that only Rorschach knows about Nite Owl. He shouldn’t even be doing this to begin with. Walter Kovacs in a public place at a party where (hopefully) only the hosts know that Nite Owl and his partner are in? It was risky, and their identities could be blown any second. Not only that, but he should be staying away from Daniel. The flushed feelings whenever he saw Dan look back at him struck him almost instantaneously, though the shield of Dan not knowing who he really was kept him from feeling worse.

They stood side by side next to the band as they listened. Dan was tapping his foot and going on about something about birds. It wasn’t like Walter had heard it for the hundredth time now. But he still listened. Once the rant slowly died down, he decided to grasp onto the conversation.

“So, your friend you’re waiting on… They your girlfriend?” God why did he have to say it like _that_.

Dan seemed surprised by the question as he let out a chuckle. “No no, they’re a him, and he’s just a friend. A really good one for that matter,” Walter felt his face grow a bit red as he had to look at the ground. “I’ve…been worried about him lately. He hasn’t been showing up to work and…I don’t know; it could be just my imagination. But he’s someone incredibly close to me, I’d hate to lose him.”

Rorschach found an immeasurable amount of guilt flowing through him as he heard his words. Standing here and chatting with him for about a half hour already reminded him of how much he didn’t know about Dan outside of crime fighting. He had even opened up to him about a few things in his own life. He found himself smiling in front of Dan, letting his warm feelings spread, and not feel guilty about it. Perhaps it was because he wasn’t thinking about it, or maybe because he was just enjoying Dan’s presence, maybe both.

As he gazed as his smile as Dan spoke, he was reminded why these feelings had blossomed. They hadn’t started the moment he met Dan to ask him to be his partner. He just remembered feeling this overwhelming urge of wanting to be by his side and watch his back. Dan had his heart in the right place, and though soft, his intentions were good. Daniel gave him kindness Walter never even knew of. He was the first person he could even call his friend. The way he smiles, laughs, even how he goes on rants about owls and birds, Walter enjoys every bit of it. Slowly overtime those feelings grew, and once Rorschach realized that they extended further than friendship, well, he knew he had to shut them down.

But it seemed that plan wasn’t working out at the moment as he watched Dan in silence, a smile on his face. The plan. His feelings… Slowly the memory crept back. No, no this was wrong.. Fuck, hell he shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t be seeing Dan like this, he shouldn’t be allowing his feelings out like this. It was entirely inappropriate. His heart was racing as Dan seemed to notice his sudden change of mood.

“Is everything alright, Walter?” he asked in a concerned tone.

His worried gaze made him sick, it made him feel weak under his caring eyes. Walter had to use all his strength to pull his own eyes away. “I have to go…”

He didn’t even give a real explanation, but he looked up at Dan, and gave a nod. “I hope everything works out with your friend. I’m sure he’s fine.”

With that, he walked away from Dan and into the crowd. Dan’s eyebrows crumpled behind his glasses as the smaller man was no longer in his line of sight. He had suddenly left just as suddenly as he appeared.

Like a ghost.

Later that evening, when Nite Owl went out, Rorschach was their at the meeting place.


	3. "Careful"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rorschach's feelings are coming to haunt him as the night of the big bust finally comes, and Rorschach decides to take it on alone. Obviously, Dan won't have it.

The moment Walter got back to his place, there was a loud door slam followed by the undeniable sounds of someone vomiting. He laid there, hunched over as he retched into the toilet. Nothing really came out—Walter was extremely pleased by that since he had downed a lot of food and with the lack of thereof in his own home, he would wish to keep that in his stomach. No, what mainly came out was spit and snot. Once the gagging had finished, he threw himself to the wall of his bathroom as he placed his hand over his face.

He felt like the entirety of his insides were being wrapped up and churned. Not just his stomach, but his intestines, his lungs, his heart. It felt like it all was melting and ready to burst out from his throat. He closed his eyes for a quick second, praying his food wouldn’t revolt against him again. He curled up his small body, grabbing the back of his head as he dug his nails into his scalp. How could he do this? How could he feel this way? He wasn’t— He didn’t— How was he supposed to follow morals if he didn’t follow them himself?

Especially to his friend. Daniel had been there for him for a good portion of his crime fighting career. It’s been some of the best moments in his life. And what does he do in return? A bucket full of feelings he didn’t wish he had to carry. He wasn’t just hurting himself, he was hurting Dan as well with these emotions. He could tell by the way he looked at the party. He had been so somber without him, he just wished he could’ve told him ‘Dan, it’s me. It’s Rorschach. I’m sorry’, but he couldn’t. He just _couldn’t_. When he decided to join Dan last night, his partner had never been so happy to see him. It hurt Rorschach. He just…didn’t know how to get rid of these emotions. He had done so well for the longest of time.

He couldn’t even focus that entire night; it cost him a sucker punch to the face. His frail hands drew across the dark red mark on his face. How could he watch Daniel’s back if he couldn’t even watch his own?

“God, stupid, _stupid!”_ he grumbled to himself as he pushed his head further in between his knees. 

The thoughts had even gotten more perverted. The distractions had gotten more detailed and intricate to the point that sexual ideas and moments and scenarios started to pop in his mind at the worst of times. It seemed to have gotten worse after the party. The closeness they shared—both being out of costume, both being in such a close proximity to one another—it had almost excited Rorschach. It was like adrenaline almost, perhaps it was? He wasn’t too sure. Whatever it was, it was thrilling, but he knew it shouldn’t. He shouldn’t be thinking it. 

His eyes caught the watch on his wrist. He was shocked to see the time. It was midnight. He had almost forgotten about the deal that was going to happen at one tonight. First he had to get ready, make sure everything’s set up correctly, go meet with Dan—

Daniel. No. Dan was a distraction enough as it is, he could do this job alone. 

*

Out of his home and into the alleyway, he collected his things. His coat, his scarf, his mask, his hat, all of it, and got dressed when he knew no one was around. Pulling the mask over his face, he felt like the inkblots shielded his perverse thoughts and recent emotions from the rest of the world. He was hiding behind his own mask. He didn’t like that feeling. He set off down the street and towards the docks.

He wasn’t quite sure where the ‘docks’ would be since it was quite an extensive place. Rorschach took his time with exploring and made sure he was in the right place. He went around the places that seemed to be occupied by a light—in no way would a bunch of dealers want to be in the sight of the public when it was a job this big. He continued to move throughout the area—looking into crates that were left open, slinking around in the shadows. That was, until he saw an abandoned bridge leading out of the city and over the docks. The ends had been broken and taped off from the rest of the world.

It seemed to be possibly train tracks. It was far away from the city, and that led Rorschach to believe that this had to be it. Looking at his watch, it was ten minutes ‘til 1A.M. Grabbing his grappling hook, he shot it into the air, hooking it around the metal of the bridge as it raised him up off the ground. He hid from underneath, awaiting the arrival of the criminals.

*

On the other hand, Dan continued to wait for Rorschach right above their meeting place in Archie. The machine hovered with the fog underneath it, hidden from the public’s view. It was twenty minutes past their meeting time and he still wasn’t there. Daniel let out a sigh. 

He thought last night went wonderfully, except the fact that Rorschach’s mind had obviously been other places. There really was something his partner wasn’t telling him. The other night when Dan had asked him where he’d been, he just shrugged and told him he had personal things going on. Daniel decided not to bring up the party.

Well, Rorschach or no Rorschach, Dan couldn’t let this deal happen on its own. Starting Archie back up, he took off into the clouds as he eyed down below. The city lights flickered in veins, as if the area really was alive; all apart of a nervous system. He wondered if they were easing its pain by locking these kinds of people away.

Once Dan arrived at the docks, he spotted a group of people on an abandoned bridge, far beyond the public docks. Guess it made sense for them to be away from the midnight workers and the lampposts that went all around the area. Daniel set Archimedes on autopilot as he took in a deep inhale, before opening the hatch below and jumping down. 

He’ll never get over the feeling of his cape spread out in the wind as he glided through the night before hitting the tracks silently. Honestly, he felt so cool. The inky blackness of night was nothing to his goggles as everything was clear as day, just in a more purple tone. The people were too far away for him to hear anything that they were saying. There was a couple of people on one side and a few on the other. One of them, though, was the one they were after. He was surrounded by a few body guards, but it was nothing Nite Owl couldn’t take. 

But, there was something happening that caught his attention. Silently, a few had disappeared while he had looked down to see how much time he had. Where had they gone? Once one of the people noticed, there was a concerned murmuring.

Before Nite Owl could make another move, there was a disturbance. Something came flying past the group of dealers, knocking the big guy right in the head as he stumbled towards the ground, growling as there was loud shouting. It was a grappling hook. Someone came vaulting over the edge of the bridge as there was a scream.

“It’s the masked freak! Shoot him!”

It was Rorschach. Dan would recognize that trench coat and small frame anywhere. He had grabbed one of the body guards just as a man shot at him, shooting the guard instead as Rorschach threw him off the bridge. As the man was reloading, Rorschach took him by the arm and flung him around, kicking his back as the man’s head slammed into the tracks. Nite Owl took no hesitation to start running towards the fight as his footsteps were muffled. He came behind a guy who was aiming at his partner, and he took his arm and pulled it behind him, breaking the bone at the elbow point as the man fell to the ground in agony.

“Rorschach behind you!” Daniel yelled.

Wait, what? Rorschach didn’t have time to see the source of the voice, though it was obvious that it was Daniel. He ducked just in time as a bullet ran past him as he spun and kicked the man’s legs out from under him, grabbing his head as he fell and slamming it into his knee.

“Nite Owl?! What are you doing here?!” Rorschach grunted as he went fist to fist with another guy.

“You didn’t show up so I went to the deal myself! Seems like I wasn’t the only one—“ As Rorschach kneed the man in the stomach, Daniel grabbed the dealer’s arms as Rorschach hit his knuckles against his face, the man falling to the ground. “—with the same idea!”

Soon, all the guys were down, the two stood there, breathing heavily as adrenaline pumped through their veins. Rorschach had been right, the same feeling that he felt when he was close to Dan at the party was incredibly similar to the adrenaline he felt now. Hearts racing, sweat dripping down their bodies, and there was the sudden impulse to pull Daniel close right then and there. But he didn’t. He gritted his teeth. _Not time for homosexual tendencies to start surfacing again._

“Rorschach…” Nite Owl huffed out. Rorschach made a noise that was replying to Nite Owl calling his name. He wasn’t sure if it was to answer or… But the sound of Daniel calling out his name out of breath was really something he didn’t need to hear right now. 

“Buddy…you need to tell me what’s been going on.”

Daniel had enough. He needed to get to the source of all this. Too much was happening, too much worrying and anxiety than Dan would like to have. He needed to find out why Rorschach was acting like this.

“I’ve been so worried… You didn’t come to the party the other night, you’re so…distracted all the time. You’ve been missing work, or working alone… Do you not want to be partners with me anymore? You can tell me I-I,” Daniel almost seemed to choke on his own words. “I’ll understand, really, but you have to let me know. This is too much for me to handle.”

Rorschach’s inkblots moved in an expression that seemed surprised at Daniel’s words. “D—Nite Owl, you are one of the closest friends I have, and the best partner I could ask for. Sorry I’ve been so distant.”

Maybe…maybe it was time to tell him. His heart was racing. “Nite Owl, been thinking about this a lot. Been bothering me a lot. Maybe finally time to really…”

He didn’t get to finish as he saw one of the seemingly unconscious men slowly get up and groan. He messed with the gun in his hand, and pointed it. 

He pointed it.

At Nite Owl.

Rorschach felt almost frozen. As if all time had stopped. But there wasn’t a second that went by as Rorschach shoved Daniel away from him. There wasn’t even time to say a word. There was a sharp pain in his shoulder as Rorschach fell back, his feet hitting the tracks as he stumbled over the side.

Even Daniel’s yell didn’t feel like it fully went through his mind. He went racing forward, reaching out his hand as he attempted to grab Rorschach’s gloved fingers. He just barely grazed them as Rorschach fell through the air, wind flying past his coat. It was a strange feeling being suspended in the air. Your stomach feels like it’s up in your chest. It feels a lot longer than it should, then suddenly, there’s a splash, and you’re submerged in liquid.

Daniel’s eyes were wide as he saw Rorschach disappear into the murky water. There was no time to react. Daniel took out his lazer gun and pointed at the guy’s hand, burning it as the gun and his hand as both melted under the light. Daniel raced to the edge of the bridge and leaped, pointing his body as he tensed up, breaking past the point of surface tension. His goggles seemed to work well in the water too as he could easily see the figure of Rorschach sinking towards the bottom. Nite Owl swam as fast as he could, trying to catch up with his partner.

Finally, he was able to grasp onto him, holding his partners arm as he tossed it around his neck, swimming up as Daniel gasped for air. He pressed his control for Archimedes as his ship came down to the surface, releasing a latter as he grabbed on, one hand on Rorschach the other to their only safety. As the latter raised into the Owlship, the hatch closed below them and Archie went back up into the clouds. 

Daniel laid out Rorschach across the floor as he was trembling with worry. _Oh god please let him be okay…_ He unbuttoned his long trench coat and unwrapped his scarf to give him more room to breathe. Pulling up the unconscious man’s mask, he let his nose and mouth be revealed to the rest of the world. Looking down at his partner, he knew he shouldn’t be hesitating as he stared at his moist lips. This wasn’t…anything; he needed to save Rorschach. He ran his fingers to find the sternum and then pressed his hands on Rorschach’s chest as he pushed down fifteen times before moving up to his face, pulling open his mouth. _He’s gonna punch me for this later…_

Putting his mouth over Rorschach, he tried not to think about it as he let out two breaths into his partner. He went back to press on Rorschach’s chest, before giving him two more breaths.

Suddenly, there was a spastic movement underneath Daniel while he was breathing into him as Rorschach coughed out the brackish water from his lungs. Dan moved back to allow Rorschach some room. He immediately tensed up as he went to sit up, putting his hand on the place where the bullet wound was.

“C-Careful! You were shot—“ Daniel moved closer towards Rorschach to try to help him.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!”

Dan was shocked by Rorschach’s harsh voice as he followed his orders. Rorschach was breathing heavily, the inkblots that weren’t folded back moved sporadically. He almost looked like was about to hyperventilate as he sat there, holding his shoulder, before his hands moved up to his mouth.

“You…you…”

He guessed Rorschach was talking about the mouth to mouth situation. “I had to…CPR and all,” Dan responded calmly, taking off his goggles.

Rorschach was trembling, the only emotions Daniel was able to detect were from his mouth, and Rorschach’s lower lip trembling. Slowly and carefully, Dan got a med kit and went up to Rorschach, kneeling down next to him. As he placed his hand on Rorschach’s wrist, his partner flinched, but allowed him to move it. His fingers lightly touched the rim of his shirt as he lifted it up, Rorschach being too shocked to argue against it. Pulling it over his head, Dan was able to see the extensiveness of his freckles along his body, along side the wound in his flesh.

Daniel took some tweezers from the med kit and began to fish out the bullet, Rorschach grunting and letting out small noises of pain as his friend pulled it out before dabbing it in alcohol and wrapping it. He’d have to stitch it when he went back to the house. Through the entire process, Daniel had a hand resting on the muscle between Rorschach’s shoulder and neck. The touch was so caring and soft, and Rorschach found his own hand resting overtop it. His body felt so cold, but the warmth Dan gave off was incomparable. It felt so nice…too nice.

Once the process was finished, Dan moved back to look at Rorschach. His partner’s lower lip was trembling harder than before.

“Rorschach?” Dan asked in a whisper.

Rorschach gulped, his Adams apple bobbing as his second trembling hand went overtop Dan’s. Daniel had removed his gloves before the medical procedure. Though Rorschach couldn’t feel his partner’s skin past his own gloves, he could feel the tendons, the veins, the indents on his skin. He wrapped his fingers around them and moved Dan’s hands up to his face, one on each side of his cheeks. Daniel looked confused, and Rorschach had to make his point greater as he forced Dan’s fingers to slip underneath his mask.

Dan had never seen higher than Rorschach’s nostrils, and the fact that he felt his partner’s cheeks underneath was…and incredible feeling. He didn’t quite know how to describe it. He took a hold on the edges of his mask, slowly pulling up the fabric. Past the bridge of his nose, past the eyes, over the hair. His face was revealed, and Dan felt his eyes melt before him as his heart was warmed with a newfound heat.

“You _were_ at the party…”

Before him was a disheveled man with disheveled ginger hair. His freckles dappled his pale skin as his striking blue eyes were red with tears as he sniffled. Dan didn’t remove his hands from his cheeks as he took his thumb and rubbed the tears away, feeling the odd sensation of Rorschach leaning into his touch. Daniel could…hardly believe it. His wild guess had been right.

“It’s nice to see you again, Walter…”


End file.
